Embroidering for Lent...

Okay, not really.

Doing life sans Facebook has definitely freed up some "spare time".  I've done much better keeping up on bible study and quiet time.  Although, in saying that, I must tell you that this week has not been so great there.  I have an entire week of bible study to do today...which kinda defeats the purpose.  Instead of "Experiencing God"...it'll be more like "Speed Dating God".  NOT the same thing.

Let's see...what else have I been up to??  I have dabbled a bit on Twitter, but other than reading news updates and verses, there's not much there to keep my attention.  Been watching a lot of news...forgot what a news hound I used to be.  Doing crosswords again....always fun.  Scrabble and Words With Friends...classic.  And then....there's "Drop the Chicken".  Let's just say...if you have 99 cents and an iPhone...run the other way!!  Seriously addictive, but F.U.N.

Mostly, though...I've been embroidering.  I enjoy it because I can watch the news, listen to podcasts, ponder stuff, and pray while I'm stitching away.  Productive.  Relaxing.  It's been a very good thing...something that I plan to continue doing well beyond Lent.

Here are some of the things I've been working on...

Canvas bag for my MIL for Mother's Day...

Tea towels for my grandmother's birthday...

Pillowcases for my nephew and niece for Easter...

I've done others, but they're gifts for people who read my blog...so I can't show them here...yet. ;)

5 more days of Lent...it's been a really great experience for me.  A time of reflection, repentance, re-prioritizing and both spiritual & personal growth.  I have missed all my Facebook friends, however and am looking forward to being part of that world again...within reason. :)

Formula Shmormula...

The authors of "Experiencing God" keep talking about hearing God's voice and knowing when He's inviting you to join Him where He's working...accompanied by promises to explain how to do so later in the study.  In my usual impatient fashion, I'm tempted to fast forward to that section of the study so I can just "figure it out" already.  It's silly.  I know they're not going to give me a formula.  If they did, I'd rely on the formula, instead of God.  Duh.  I've been down that path before.  Frustrating!   Yet - I find myself still searching for that one perfect formula.  Why?  Because I'm tired of getting it wrong.  Weary from making the same mistakes.  How can I know something in my head yet not "get it" in my heart?  I'm still struggling with the disconnect there... :o\

My conclusion after Day 8 of Experiencing God is:  I need to just.be.patient.   Focus on knowing Him. Experiencing Him.  Adjusting my life towards Him.  Removing all obstacles that keep me from Him.

If I'm tuned into Him...I won't miss out on what He's doing.


Plain and simple.  Right...?

Why Bother with Lent? | The Mars Hill Blog

Why Bother with Lent? | The Mars Hill Blog

This blog post inspired me... :)

A Nice Surprise...

I felt prompted to journal my 46 day journey. I haven't blogged in so long, I didn't think I'd have any readers (other than my hubby)...and that was fine with me. I was just doing it because I felt led to. And, honestly...it's been so long since I've had anything real to say...I was just happy to be writing again.

Soooo...I was a bit confused when I checked my email today and found that people had responded to my blog...via Facebook???? Huh?? I didn't even realize they were connected...that's how long it's been since I've blogged. I considered logging into the forbidden site (haha) to disconnect it...then it occurred to me maybe this was part of His plan in prompting me to journal in the first place. He's clever that way... ;)

Since I can't respond on Facebook, I wanted to personally thank those who commented...I was really touched by your encouragement. So, thank you... ;) In the future, if you decide to comment, I'd love to have you go directly to my blog...that way I have the opportunity to respond. You can access my blog here: http://lyrical-ladybug.blogspot.com/.

Thanks again, friends... ;)

Experiencing God...

It all started when I saw someone post that they were "giving up Facebook for Lent". My first thought, "What?!?!" was quickly followed by the reasoning "Well, sure...that's easy for them, they're rarely on here." Without even trying to, my mind had already concocted a bazillion reasons why giving up Facebook was NOT a good idea for me. "I wasn't even planning on participating in Lent. So, why should I?" And..."What about my high school girls?", "And the new student ministries group I started?", "How can I do my job and be effective in youth ministry, if I'm not plugged in?" and "What about my extended family?...this is how I keep in touch with them." Then there was the basic..."I hate missing out on stuff! How will I know what's going on with people?" Then...the always destructive "What will people think?" train of thought started. "If I don't say something and just don't sign on, will people think I'm mad at them?" (Sadly, I've been down that road before...) Or..."If I do say something, will people judge me? And think I'm being 'holier than thou'?" It was a ridiculously long spiral downward that led me to the conclusion that clearly, such a sacrifice was not realistic for ME.

Still...I felt called to give up something. "Maybe, I could give up sugar?" No...my motivation for that would be selfish...'cause I need to lose weight anyway. Hmmm..."TV?" "No...I go weeks without watching TV all the time..." I decided there wasn't anything else that would really be a sacrifice to give up...so I spent some time writing in my prayer journal and pretty much told God that if He wanted me to give it up, He'd have to change my heart...

Last week, we started "Experiencing God" by Henry & Richard Blackaby with the high school girls. I've wanted to do this study so badly...and yet all during Week One, I struggled with motivation to do it. In usual "Missy fashion", I ended up doing 4 of the 5 days in 1 day. Yesterday.

Amazing how God works. How every lesson I did yesterday, walked me step by step through the process of changing my heart towards Him. Realizing (once again) that I must die to self in order to return to a God-centered life. That my question should not be "What is God's will for my life", but rather "What is God's will?" and then aligning my life to it. The big message of the day for me was "You cannot stay the way you are and go with God." Hmmm..."I cannot stay this way." Honestly, I already knew that. I was not happy with myself...tired of making the same mistakes over and over again...tripping up at the same places in my life, my marriage, my walk with Him. My ineffectiveness was glaringly obvious. But...I was trying so hard. Doing all the right stuff. "What was my problem??"

[Queue: Light Bulb Moment]

"...APART FROM ME, YOU CAN DO NOTHING." (John 15:5)

Those words were written down in the right hand corner of my study book, but they may as well have taken up the whole page. Tears in my eyes, lump in my throat, I realized...I had been doing it wrong all along.

I don't do God's work. He works through me.

Right now, He doesn't want me to do. He just wants me to be with Him. I cannot carry out the will of God, I can only be where He wants me to be. And while a time for doing will come, I cannot skip the relationship with God part. If I do, I will accomplish nothing.

Back to my prayer journal I went. Feverishly writing, I repented of my pride, my self-centeredness and my disobedience. For doing my will and claiming it was for His glory. At this point, I wasn't even certain that the whole Lent thing was God's idea, and not my own...but, I so wanted it to be His idea. Yes, you read that right. I wanted Him to ask me to give it up. I reread what I had written and was speechless. I sat there for a minute...pen in hand, staring at this crazy chicken scratch and didn't know what to say next. So, I closed my journal and committed to praying about it throughout the rest of the day. It needed to be His idea, not mine. Not so that I had an excuse to get out of it, but because I needed to know that I was in His will, not coming up with some grandiose plan to do His will.

So, I prayed about it. Anytime Facebook popped into my head or I was tempted to open the app on my phone, I prayed instead. Let's just say, I prayed about it a LOT. haha It wasn't until the end of the day, sifting through the thoughts and emotions banging around in my head, that it was made clear. This journey was not of my own creating, it was Him working around me and in me. The bible says, we cannot come to Him without the Holy Spirit's prompting. I was prompted and told Him, He'd have to change my heart...and He did.

So, Day 1 of 46, has been great. I had no difficulty finding time to do my study or to pray. No big surprise there. Every time FB pops into my head, I redirect those thoughts into prayers. Mostly thanking God for his correction and what He's going to do in my relationship with Him through this journey. I've done more praying in the last two days than I have in the last month. What a clever God we serve... ;)

"Attitude" by Charles Swindoll

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes.

Thankful for patient friends...and an even more patient God.

It's been awhile since I've written. Duh. I know.

Where do I begin? Hmmm...how 'bout with a sincere "thank you" to those who've emailed, prodded and nudged me to write. And an even bigger "nod" to the few who've had enough faith in me to keep me on their blog-list, despite my absurdly long absence. ;)

While I do fully intend to update more frequently, I make no promises. I've always lacked the stick-to-it-iveness for these types of things. I will say though, with cautious optimism and much prayer, that I am taking steps towards a life of self-discipline and away from my "fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants" past.

***************

On a completely different topic... Never said anything about addressing my issues with randomosity.

I was reading in Genesis today about Abraham...not a new story to me, but it met me right where I was at.

Even after all God had done for Abraham...Abraham still doubted Him. He feared man more than he feared God which caused him to sin...repeatedly. Yet God faithfully intervened to protect Abraham, Sarah and ultimately, the nation of Israel.

I am thankful for a God who is faithful, patient and gentle in His correction with me...just as He was with Abraham.

"Being in Love with You"

I've heard this song countless times, but never really "heard" it until this week. The lyrics are so honest...if you haven't heard it before, you can check it out here...

"Being in Love with You"
by Big Daddy Weave

Lately I've been busy thinkin'
And this is what's been on my mind
It seems like all I do is work for You, Lord
But I feel empty on the inside

I know that work is an important part
Oh but this is also true
My dilemma is an issue of the heart
When I try to live for you without you

I don't need to try to be
The flawless example
Lifted up for everyone to see
I don't need to stand and shout it
" Hey I've got the answer!"
If your presence is living in me
I won't need to talk about it
In a church committee
For the world to know the truth
All I need to do is just be me
Being in love with you

I've been spending all my time
And all my efforts trying
to make you proud of what you see
But to my great surprise
I have realized
Nothing that I do can change your love for me

Contract

(Below is the band contract that Jay {age 14} wrote for his band members to sign...word for word. It was too cute not to share.)

I __________________ understand that in joining this band __(name still to be determined)__ that I will be a part of this band, without sabotaging it in any way, until my contract expires in 3 years.

In the event that you would like to quit you must first take it up with Jeremiah Scott Villa for termination of the contract.

When (in time) the band starts to make money the first % of money will go to food, gas, hotel, etc. The rest will go into a Savings Account for instruments and gear, etc. You will collect your first payment when the account has reached $300. And then, you will get paid a certain % based upon what is made, minus expenses.

Song making is open to anyone. There is no set logo or name so ideas would be helpful. If by 8/1/09 a name agreement has not been reached "The Billy'Z" will be our default name. You will not be forced into a religion, but this IS a Christan band. There will be no swearing, no racist comments and no ethnic stereo-types at all in any of the songs we do. As well, you can be let go if it is in the best interest of the band. There will be opportunity to hire other people later on. But as of now we have:

Jay Villa - Lead Guitar, Singer
Lucas Villa - Drums, Percussion
Ben Anderson - Saxophone, Rhythm Guitar

There is a great opportunity ahead of you and I have asked you for your specific talent and I hope that you are the right choice!

Your employer and friend,

Signature

_______________________


Parent Signature

________________________

________________________


After Lucas signed it, I asked him what he thought of it and he told me, "It was really quite reasonable, Mom...I was happy to sign it."

I asked Jay why he needed our signatures and he told me, "Well, since none of the band members are of legal age, we need your signatures in order for this contract to be legally binding." Can't argue with that logic. :)

Light Bulb Moment...

A long time ago...when Joe and I had been married just a few, short years...he gave me this Tigger & Eeyore figurine. When he gave it to me he said "It reminds me of you because sometimes you're Tigger and sometimes you're Eeyore...and the Tigger in you doesn't understand the Eeyore in you, so it often tries to force you to smile and be happier than you really are." At the time, I thought the observation was interesting, but didn't understand the signficance...I just loved anything "Winnie the Pooh"...and Tigger & Eeyore were my two favorite characters, so I was tickled pink. :)

I didn't realize how profound his observation of me was until just this past week (only about a dozen or so years later...LOL). You see, my friend, Jill, and I have been studying temperaments with our Explorer girls the last few weeks. You know: Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy and Phlegmatic? Anyway, it's pretty heavy stuff for our girls, but such an awesome tool to have as a young believer. The best way to serve Christ is to know who we are in Christ, right?

So...in an effort to help our girls relate to their different temperment blends, Jill and I wanted to tie it in with some of the other temperament titles/characters out there...for instance, Gary Smalley's "Lion", "Otter", "Beaver" and "Golden Retriever". (By the way, if you have young kids, I highly recommend Gary's book "The Treasure Tree"...it's great for figuring out the different temperaments of your kids and helping them understand why God made us all different. An excellent tool when dealing with sibling rivalry!) Anyway, as I was "googling" other temperament characters, I came across a chart that had "Children's Literature Characters" as the different temperament types. This one in particular, used Winnie the Pooh characters. "What a perfect analogy!", I thought. So, I came up with a chart for the girls that looked something like this:


After spending tons of hours reading personality and temperament books, doing research online, etc to prepare for teaching our girls about temperaments...I could probably be certified on the topic, but I still hadn't realized the significance of Joe's statement all those years ago, until I was typing up this chart. You see, I am a Sanguine-Melancholy...a Peter-Moses...an Otter-Beaver...and, a Tigger-Eeyore. *light bulb moment*

Hmmm...

Turns out, my best friend knew me pretty well after all. :)

What part of SLOW DOWN did you not understand?

That is what my Daddy must have been thinking over the past couple months.

In the beginning, His still, small voice gently reminded me..."Slow down." I said "Ok, Dad. I will, just as soon as I get through......" I'm pretty sure God doesn't appreciate us making deals with Him, but I did it anyway...and worse yet, I didn't even keep my end of the deal.

Next, His voice was a little louder..."You NEED to slow down." But, feeling ashamed that I hadn't obeyed him the first time, and still overwhelmed with all I had to do...I turned my head away and pretended I didn't hear Him. My lab does this when he knows he's doing something wrong. "If I can't see her, she can't see me...and maybe she won't notice that I'm disobeying." It usually makes me laugh...but, I'm pretty sure God isn't into Hide & Seek and didn't find anything funny in my disobedience.

I remember His voice getting less and less audible. I knew what that meant, but kept telling myself that I would eventually obey Him. He just didn't understand how much pressure I was under and how much I had to do. And, besides...a lot of what I do is for Him anyway. So, surely...He couldn't be too upset...right? I mean, wouldn't He appreciate how much I serve Him? Wouldn't that make it all ok? I would get it all done on my own and show Him how strong I was. I'd prove myself to Him and everyone else, for that matter...and they'd all be proud of me...and, maybe they'd stop second guessing me all the time. I even started to feel a little bitter because "No one believed in me."

It's amazing the lies we start to believe when we turn a deaf ear to our Father God. He doesn't want our independence, He wants our obedience. He doesn't want our acts of service, He wants our surrendered heart.

As it turns out, I couldn't do it all on my own. Not only did I let my Father down, I let the people I love down, and the people I serve with down...I let myself down. I wasn't taking care of myself physically, emotionally...or spiritually. It was evident to everyone but me.

Luckily, we have a gracious Father who loves us unconditionally. His hand is always extended to us, but it is up to us whether or not we take it, or try to do it on our own. He freely gives us love and grace, and through Him we experience power and rest. They are gifts. Beautifully wrapped gifts. Can you imagine a loved one giving you a giant, shiny wrapped present and taking it, saying thanks and then setting it aside and never even opening it? Or worse, telling them, "Thanks, but I don't need this. I have everything I need without You"??

In my darkest moment, when I cried out for Him to rescue me and repented for my pride and disobedience...He extended His hand, once again, and waited for me to take hold. There's was no condemnation, no "I told you so', not even a "What part of slow down did you not understand?" Only comfort, a safe place to rest my weary soul.

This is a lesson that I have been in the process of learning for some time...and, though I'd like to think I've got it figured out for good, I know that when left to my own devices, I will trip over these same hard places. Thus the new title of this blog: Leaving Room in the Margins. Instead of packing my life and schedule so full that it's popping at the seams, I am going to leave room in the margins. Room to breathe, room to play and room to rest...but more importantly, room to spend time with my Daddy.

11 Things I LOVE About Lucas!!

1. He loves Jesus, his unwaivering faith in His Heavenly Father inspires me!
2. He has the biggest heart of anyone I know, he's thoughtful and compassionate.
3. He is creative...musically and artistically...and has an awesome imagination.
4. He challenges me to be a better mom.
5. He has never met a person he doesn't like, and will go out of his way to make others feel special.
6. He has a great sense of humor and makes me laugh daily.
7. He is a patient learner and has beautiful penmanship, which may not sound like a big deal, but since he's a lefty and I'm his teacher, it's just wonderful!
8. He is passionate about others' rights, both humans and animals.
9. He is a wonderful encourager and doesn't hesitate to let someone know when they've done something well.
10. He's a "mama's boy"...and still loves to cuddle up with me!
11. He is a thankful person and doesn't take others' kindness or thoughtfulness for granted.

I am so thankful for you, Lucas. I look forward to watching you grow into a young man and to see all that God has in store for you.

Love you,
Mom

10 Things I Love About Michaella...

1. She loves Jesus.
2. She is compassionate and kind-hearted.
3. She's adores her big brothers...and they love her.
   
4. She has spunk!
5. She's a cuddle-bug and loves to be tickled.
   
6. She has a great sense of humor and a contagious giggle!
   
7. She likes to watch sports with me, especially baseball.
   
8. She loves animals...and they love her.
   
9. She'll always be my baby! (no matter how old she gets!)
   
10. She's a great helper, especially when it comes to helping me remember things!! I'd be lost without her!

Happy 10th Birthday, Peanut! Welcome to "double digits"! I'm so thankful to be your mom! :)

Love you!!
Mom

Pumpkin Carving 2008!!

Michaella's Pirate Pumpkin..."Arrrrrrrgh!"

Lucas' Flaming Jack-O-Lantern..."Muhaahaahaaaaa!"

Jeremiah's Gollum Pumpkin..."His Precious"

My Mona Lisa Pumpkin..."She's A Mysterious Beauty"

Hope you have a Happy Halloween!!


With Love,
The Villa Family